Oi To The World

A Gun For Christmas

Families lock their doors in fear that criminals might get them
But this Christmas rest assured that I will have my own protection
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
If burglers touch my property they won't leave here with out a limp
Packing heat this Christmas I'll shoot it off on New Year's Eve,
cuz bullets go in outer space when pointed up I believe
A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud
it says that I will not take all of this bulls*** lying down
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once "Stay the f*** away from my s***"
I will use my new weapon in self-defense and sport
and to keep he carolers off my god d*** porch
and preventing Yuletide homicide's this year
I won't be a victim this year thanks to Santa Claus
Sleeping with no fear of danger, and it's all because
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once "Stay the f*** away from my s***"
Christmas needs security , security is weapons
Vigilante action teaching criminals their lessons
It's the greatest gift we have taking out our rivals
Thank you Santa, thank you God
for guaranteeing my survival
A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud
it says that I will not take all of this bulls*** lying down
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once "Stay the f*** away from my s***"
I won't be a victim this year thanks to Santa Claus
Sleeping with no fear of danger, and it's all because
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once "Stay the f*** away from my crap
or I'll bust a cap in your a**!!!"

Grandpa's Last Xmas

Mom Says, "Put on your Christmas best"
Grandpa's coming down this year and it might be his last
Why Mom? You say that every time
It seems that he's been dying ever since I was nine
I don't mean no disrespect because he's old and mean
But how come we invite him when he always makes a scene?
Tell me
Why Does, he hit me with his cane?
And why should I get him a gift if he doesn't know my name?
How come, he always calls me "Kate"
and forgets his dentures on his dinner plate?
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother said
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice
What can I say to someone 300 years old?
When he seems so content staring at the jello mold
Please Mom, let me go out and play
or soon I will go deaf like him from hearing him complain
I know, his life's been long and hard
but he deserves some quiet and peace in a nice graveyard
Grandpa, I love you just the same
But I know that you won't be happy until you drive us all insane
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother said
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice
be nice...to Grandpa...cuz he's old....and he smells,
and he's gonna die soon...be nice to Grandpa

Thanx For Nothing

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing
You shouldn't have, Oh- you didn't
You're so generous. Thanks for nothing
Never mind all the stuff I bought for you
It was my pleasure, getting nothing back
Come next year I'm getting you what you got me
F***ing Nothing. See how you like it
I don't have much money but I got you something nice
I maxed out my cards, didn't care about the price...
To show I care this time of year
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing
So I'm a sap, under the Christmas tree
Trying to find the gifts I thought you got for me
But there was nothing there what a shock
just the torn up wrappings from all the gifts I bought
Thanx for all the effort to brighten up my Christmas
Thank you for the knife that you stabbed me in the back with
What a blessing. You're really something
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing
I've been so selfless, choosing gifts so thoughtfully
Sweating in a crowed mall and you don't get s*** for me
You selfish a**hole. I hope you die
Choking on your putrid pile of presents 6 feet high
Thanx for making Christmas such a disappointment
Thanx for making sharing seem so f***ing pointless
What a pal. I'll tell you one thing
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing.

Oi To Thee World

Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble until he started up his Oi band,
safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Till Haji went to far and he plugged in at the pub
Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
popped in for a pint and to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the Unity
So he unwound Haji's turban and knocked him to his knees
If god came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
but Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out thru the crowd
he said "we'll meet again we are bloody but not unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down 20 Oxford street
If god came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
but Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
On the roof with the nun chucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
Police sirens wailing, a bloody dying man,
Haji was alone and abandoned his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
when the skins left him there and went down the fire escape
But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
the repelled down the roof with the rest of the turban
and went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon
If god came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
but Oi to the world and everybody wins!"

Nothings Going To Ruin My holiday

This is going to be the best Christmas ever
Everything this year's been a disaster
But I won't let it bother me at all
Nothing's going to bring me down
It's Christmas and I'm pleased as punch
I'm going to stand my happy ground
I refuse to let my family make me crazy
I'll smile at their insults and their frowns
I'll ignore the s***ty weather
Cuz what counts is we're together
Loving, safe and sound
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
Not this time, Ya hear?
(I won't let it happen)
And If you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of the f***ing year
The turkey might have made the children vomit
The tree burned down and torched up all of our gifts
But I will grin and bear it
and this nightmare we will share it
Till I get my only wish
it's
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
No act of God or family fight
Cuz if you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of your f***ing life
You'll burn in h*** with hot pokers in your eyes and acid on your flesh
This is going to be the best Christmas ever
Soon this crappy Christmas will be over
And I'll go right back to my pissed-off self
But until that happens I'll just continue laughing
like one of those creepy, retard, mutant, North Pole Elves
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
Not this year I won't let that be the case
And If you try and ruin my holiday
I'll punch you in your fat, disgusting, turkey eating face
Understand me
This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

Christmas Time For My Penis

Can't Find Lyrics

I Don't Believe in Santa Claus

I don't believe in Santa Clause
his corporate image forced upon
the blinded spending masses,
to enslave the lower classes
with obligatory gifts that serve to cleanse
a year of guilt and shame
One token gesture justifies
the apathetic, hypnotized
Leaving them to be Kris Kringle's slaves
Buy! Buy! I won't do it
The seasons obligation has not my participation
Buy! Buy! I won't do it
The money hungry mating call of corporate swine
Cuz
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
Now Buy!
He monitors naughty and nice
Big brother is St. Nick!
Methodically his judgment made documented on his list
I Don't believe in Santa Clause or his mystical facade
to teach the children wanton greed
they're lust for gifts becomes a need
Brainwashed by the marketing and victims of the corporate scheme
Material possessions becoming they're obsessions
till human life has lost it's value
and you blindly do just what they tell you
I don't believe!!!!
His tactics of intimidation repress the minds of youth
using fear for generations, His image hides the truth
He's just a puppet for the system, a glutton in a suit
with Yuletide propaganda and a bearded mask to boot!

My First Xmas, As A Woman

With Christmas upon us it's time to be honest
and follow my dreams and to face
a life of delusion and gender confusion
no longer will be the case
I never wanted army men of basketballs
I only wanted pantyhose and Barbie dolls
And dressing up in mother's clothing
My whole life I've been feeling only feminine
It always seemed so useless trying to be a man
Now that's a ghost of Christmas past
Now it feels like the very first time,
cuz it's going to be the very first time,
that Christmas feels right to me
And I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman
A doctor reconstructed my genitals
And now I'm waiting underneath the mistletoe
for a guy who could love a girl like me
I took the hormones and I got my breasts
This season's gonna be the best to me
I won't have to tuck it behind me
Since I got my brand new vagina
It's my first Christmas as a woman
Chop if off! Chop if off! Chop if off!
My penis, chop it off
It's no use to me.
Cut it off!
Chop it off!
Chop it off!
My penis, cut it off so I can finally be
A Woman... - Now I'm finally happy cuz I made my goal
to be a post operation transsexual
now I'm a pretty lady
Now it feels like the very first time,
cuz it's going to be the very first time,
that Christmas feels right to me
Cuz I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman

Dance Of The Sugarplum Fairies

Hey!

C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

Originally by The Yobs

Hang Myself From The Tree

Christmas is h*** on earth, I know nothing worst
then being depressed and told to be happy
The season of suicide, I know why they died
Christmas reminds me I have nothing
I've got no girl there's only me
no friends or family, another Christmas alone
Got no food to eat, no ornaments or wreath
so I'll hang myself from the tree
Christmas is dark and wet, so I can't forget
Christmas reminds me I have nothing
this is the end of hope, I won't write a note
because it would be addressed to no one
I've got no girl there's only me
no friends or family, another Christmas alone
Got no food to eat, no ornaments or wreath
so I'll hang myself from the tree
Now I will say good-bye, no one will cry
Christmas goes on without me
My life is now complete, so I'll go to sleep
Forever and ever and ever...
I've got no girl there's only me
no friends or family, another Christmas alone
Got no food to eat, no ornaments or wreath
so I'll hang myself from the tree