The Quickening

Stop Smiling

Happy robots say "life is fine"
they're the ones I loathe
they're stupid or they're lying
or a little bit of both
ignore disasters and say that life is great
it never stops the smile on your s*** consuming faces
The stupid f***ing hippies
too stoned to see their lives are f***ed
going with the flow
into the s***ter they are sucked
and then they got these magic crystals
don't do a god d*** thing
just stinking of pachoulli
while they choke on their ginseng
Beating on a drum
you sing of quiet and peace
burning marijuana
and take the time to hug a tree
say no possessions
but get all that you can,
you stink like s*** and smile through it
Don't ever trust a happy man
Cheery retard masses,
with evil Osmond smiles
way too glad to be
cuz "He" is on your side
and then they hand out propaganda
for sheep to join the cult
collecting guns, they rapet your daughters
but nobody's at fault
Beating on a drum
you sing of quiet and peace
burning marijuana
and take the time to hug a tree
say no possessions but get all that you can
you stink like s*** and smile through it
Don't ever trust a happy man
I don't want to go to heaven
it's filled with pr*cks like you
I won't go inside the gates
leave me in the waiting room
I'm sure that God hates you too
he thinks your an obsessed fan
see how you are?
I'll never trust a happy man
Never trust a happy man
The stupid f***ing hippies too stoned to see
their lives are f***ed going with the flow
into the s***ter
they are sucked.

It's a Fact

You know when your sure
that no one gives a crap
your on the right track
It's a fact
And when you believe things are good it's guaranteed
you're up your a**
It's a fact
Morons through the world,
and it's s***ty place
no one ever asked to be born
It's a fact
You know every time you think you've got it right,
your totally wrong
It's a fact
And when you really try the efforts misapplied
or there's a catch
It's a fact
So rest assured in knowing that what you do don't matter
Someone can do it better anyways
It's a fact
When you've got a sure thing
your sure to f*** it up
It's one thing you can count on every time
It's a fact
What can you do?
Absolutely nothing
don't even try to amount to something
It will never work and Hitler is a jerk
and soon we'll all be dead anyway
It's a fact (you suck)
In five billion years
the sun will explode
It's in the bible
It's a fact
And no one will know
that we were ever here
It's a fact
It's a fact
So rest assured in knowing
that what you do don't matter
Some one can do it better anyway
It's a fact
It's a fact

Marry Me

Young girl says to her mom,
"How did you know that father was the one?"
Then mom just rolls her eyes
She says, "You'll find that special guy"
but to herself she cannot lie
She says, "I'm praying for the day I die
and they bury me"
Then boy become a man
He finds that special one who understands
He knows 'twas meant to be
her faults he cannot see &
now he's down on bended knee
I pledge my love eternally
will you marry me?
Do you take this woman?
I don't!
Do you take this man?
I don't!
For the rest of your awful life
she is your lawful wedded wife
Do you take this woman?
I don't!
Do you take this man?
I don't!
Eternal agony in holy matrimony
The two now joined as one
and from this holy union comes a son
and the cycle begins again,
another fool is on his knee
Where is my alimony?
Hang yourself from the family tree,
Say marry me
Menopause, mid-life crisis,
moments for the rest of your life
'Til death do you part,
'til the kids leave home she is your wife
(June?)
Just look at your parents strife
Imagine that for the rest of your life
Do you take this women?
Indoubitably I don't
For the rest of
your awful life
she is your lawful wedded wife!

Allah

Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah!
I studied carefully, and I do believe
the best of heavens is to except is Islam
I hope that book is right
they promise paradise
I'm going for the bonus of a martyr's reward
And when I fight I know he makes me strong
And when I die I know I can't be wrong
I know my only chance is
Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah!
The prophet has summoned us to attack
He said we must in his defense
against those who don't believe
And when I fight I know he makes me strong
And when I die I know I can't be wrong
The last day grows near
my belief takes away the fear
I made the right choice
My God's the only God
And when I fight
I know he makes me strong
And when I die I know I can't be wrong
I know my only chance is
Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah!
When the infant girl buried alive
is asked for which crime she is slain
When the records of men's deeds
are laid open and heaven is stripped bare
When h*** burns fiercely and paradise is brought here
then each soul will know what it has done
It's time to party with
Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah!

Tastes Like Chicken

First I think of my health
then I know some food I have to buy
I'm taking the time, taking the time to understand
why you and me were never meant to eat a bird that fly's
How does it make you feel?
To take a life for just one meal
The deal, two drumsticks and a breast
just leave you so depressed that I must stress
Do not eat the chicken!
Now back to my health
I really don't need the vegetable
All covered in filth it's almost uneatable
Meat makes you strong so strong that you can say
Who's the man? Who's the man now?
50 serving from just one cow
How does it make you feel?
To take a life for just one meal
The deal, two drumsticks and a breast
just leave you so depressed that I must stress
Do not eat the chicken!
I can taste the feathers in my mouth
Such a waste of time
1 life
1 meal should be a crime
Eat a bigger bird
1 turkey
10 people can be served
I don't care how they're raised,
hormone injected do not phase me
You can stuff your free range chickens
I wont eat a bird that fly's
How does it make you feel?
To take a life for just one meal
The deal, two drumsticks and a breast
just leave you so depressed that I must stress
Do not eat the chicken!

(But Then) She Spoke

There she stood she was a vision
a picture of perfection
so I made the big decision
I'm going to talk to her
I have to show to her it could be magic
and I got the nerve up
So went over there
she was a goddess
I had to show to her I could be her Adonis
At first sight I knew she was my destiny
The first time the feeling has come over me
Intimidation, feared rejection
I need to make a love connection
then the unexpected had occurred
and then it happened
and she spoke
and it all just went to h***
her personality quickly broke the spell
so disillusioned
and I came to the conclusion
she was garbage wrapped in loveliness
leaving me so unimpressed
If she don't shut up
I'm gonna throw up all over her shoes
How could it be?
That such a goddess would ever talk to me
and make me nauseous
All the things she said just echoed in my head
I thought she was an angel
but it was all just misread
Every word was terrible, and made it more unbearable
and made me have to leave the f-ing room
and it's all because she spoke
tortured by her words
such a pretty s***head
that I wished I never heard
Perfect on the outside
but f***ed on the in
how can god be so cruel?
it's got to be a sin
I had to plug my ears, until she disappears
so I can cry Waahh
and it's all because she spoke
it all just went to h***
her personality quickly broke the spell
so disillusioned
that I came to the conclusion
she was garbage wrapped in loveliness
leaving me so unimpressed
I was destined to learn my lesson
and I learned it well
Never think she's perfect till you talk to her first
Never fall in love till you go through her purse
Never think she's perfect till you talk to her first
And I should know

How (Did This Loser Get This Job?)

I know it's just a figure of speech
but if your breath and your clothes are bad
your destined to teach
I see the president
I see Lincoln
what the h*** was 43% of this place thinking
we watch the shuttle launch
read J.D. Salinger
I know one teacher I wish was on the Challenger
How- How- How- How- How- How
How did this loser get this job?
check his references, that's all I'm saying
I think my parents deserve more
for what their paying
he works till 3:00
it's such a racket
all you need are Dockers and
a Members Only jacket
How- How- How- How- How- How
How did this loser get this job?
unprepared, drunk you swindle academe
all you wanna do
is wrestle with the football team
pass out towels like communion
you're protected by the kid molesters union
How- How- How- How- How- How
How did this loser get this job?

Hungry For You

Hey baby
where you going tonight?
And are you taking me with you?
I love you so much
I want you to know
I really love you so
I want you to be my lady forever
and ever and ever and ever
Little girl I want you so bad I can taste it in my food
I think your great
I really want you to know
I always want you around
I think about you every single night
when I'm sleeping on the couch, in my bed
Every time I watch TV all I have
I got you in my head
All I think is of you
I love you
I f***in love you,
your my Pumpkin
and I want to squeeze you
So baby where we going out tonight?
Are you taking me to get some food?
I want you to pay for me
I've got no job
I'm so hungry for you, for you, for you
Hey baby where we going out tonight?
Are we gonna go eat?
Everything will be alright
I love you so much I want you to know
I never really ever wanna let you go,
you're my Pumpkin for 6 weeks now
and all I want to share is a large cow, with cheese, with you,
because I love you
Oh Pumpkin!
I want you
I want you to know,
I never really ever wanna let you go
I'll smash your head in the doorway,
If you don't pay my way
I got no money, I got no rent,
I'm just hungry for you
'm just hungry for you
I'm so hungry for you
Hungry for you!
Hungry for you!

Failure Is The Best Revenge

For all those who've failed
you will have your day
and you'll hear them say
"I don't understand how things went wrong,
I've always been great, good-looking and strong"
When they feel like you have all the time
It's your revenge
FAILURE
I guess that's life,
failure is the best revenge
Be proud of your flounders
and falter with pride
Fail without shame cuz you never tried
Don't bother building a trophy case,
Unless they start handing them out for last place
Be humble because no one is safe
It sneaks right up
FAILURE
Everybody join the club
Failure is the best revenge
FAILURE
Only one way of doing things right
but a thousand ways wrong
so join the fight
In showing the winners we don't play their games
an army of losers retarded and lame
a chance to unite
cuz we're all the same
It's great to be a FAILURE
Never try
Failure is the best revenge
Avoid mediocrity and run the other way
Stay at the bottom you're welcome to stay
Make them remember you for failure without match
Every defeat is a feather in your cap
I give a crap We all belong
FAILURE
One billion strong
FAILURE
come join the club FAILURE
Never try
Failure is the best revenge.

Aging Orange

I'm Palm Palm head and I wrote one good song
But that was almost 20 years ago
I tried and I tried to follow it up
But you know how those sophomore jinxes go
So I became quite bitter as sales dropped like flies
No one likes these dumb songs of racing cars and spies
Maybe it's my ape drape or hippies in my band
But now we only tour in Arizona or Japan
So after much thought and a panel of experts
I came up with a brilliant little plan
I'll take out my frustrations
on one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands
Cuz I invented sock
and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin
but no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties on things I thought of first
Back in Ancient Egypt many Pharaohs went to jail
for misappropriation of my Phrigian scale
I said listen to Tutankhamen you're driving me insane
it's obvious those bellies are all dancing to Bloodstains
I figured out you owe me and please try not to laugh
but every time I hear it I get one more golden calf
So I've bitten off a sizable chunk
of the hands of the people with the food
Now I'm confined to the pages of Flipside
a graveyard of punk rock's 35 year old dudes
Cuz I invented socks and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin but no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties on things I thought of first
Palm Palm! Palm Palm! Palm Palm!
Ape Drape! Ape Drape! Poodle Head! Poodle Head!

Canine Euthenasia

I'm gonna miss you buddy,
you were the best pal in the world
I feel real bad cuz your going away
but things will be better in the other world
when you get to heaven
I bet your legs will work again you can run around like years before
and you'll be surrounded by your friends
They'll never have to pick you up out of the mud,
your hair will grow back and you'll have a lot of fun
Yeah
I think about the good times
like when I dressed you up in human clothes
peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
chase you around the back yard with the hose
You were my constant companion but now you don't recognize me
your eyes are blind and dad says
we should let you die with dignity
You knew where we were going on that last ride
when I promised mom & dad I wouldn't cry
I think it's the right thing to do
if your in pain
Canine Euthanasia seems more humane
Now sometime has passed since you have gone away
I got a new pal and he's really great
but I think about you every day
I miss you more than any girl, you never let me down
Where ever you are I wish I was there
I was always happy when you were around
Sooner or later everyone dies
but I wish I never had to say good-bye
Goodbye

Moving Up

Hey mom, it's been fantastic since I'm on my own
At first it seemed so drastic when you and dad kicked me out
but it made me get my act together
and learn what life's all about
now I'm self reliant I can hold my own
Movin' up,
lookout I got me a job, at a food service place
I'm making four-fifty and things are going great
I'm cleaning toilets, making fries but in a couple years
Your least favorite son could make the manager
I don't need education, forget about a college
I've got the motivation, I've got the knowledge
I'll work my way slowly up the food service ladder
and prove to my new family here I really matter
Movin' up,
lookout, here I come,
Movin' up
I hate to jinx my chances if it's too soon to speak
but there has been some talk, I could be worker of the week
They'll give me half price lunches and my own parking space
if I ever get a car that's icing on the cake
Movin' up, Lookout, here I come,
I'm doing great
I may share one room place with seven other strangers
with bugs and drugs and several other dangers
but I command the dinner shift
and when depressed I think the four F's - Friends, Fun, Fast-Food, Flexible hours
cuz I got me a job
I got me a plan
you said I was a mess up
but I proved that I'm a man
I'm here surviving and I did my own way
Mom and Dad
I wish that you could see me today
I'm Movin' up, Lookout, Here I come, I got a raise,
Movin' up Lookout, Here I come, I'm doing good

(I'll Make You) Love Me

This here's my last chance
so it won't hurt to ask
What can I do to make you love me?
I'll learn to speak in French,
I'll even pitch a tent on your front yard
to make you love me
It seems impossible you never seem to notice
But there will come a day they'll say "he really showed us"
This time I really mean it
I think I'm dangerous You won't be safe until you love me
You're such a pretty girl, let's feed the birds and squirrels
some bread and peanuts till you love me
If you don't like some one
Then I will take a gun and blow their heads off until you love me
You must understand
I'm not responsible for anything I do
I've got a doctor's note this time it's not a joke
I'm really serious bad things will happen till you love me
love me love me
I know when you say I'm scaring you
nd I should go away that it's a lie
But here's some truth
I'll never stop until I die.
(die die die)
In my mind We are peas and carrots
But you are so blind You refuse to hear it
You'd better listen up
I'll give you one last chance
you won't be safe until you love me,
love me, LOVE ME

Choosing Your Masters

I think my TV's busted if not this country's dusted
'cause I think I saw 7 Mary 3, and they were on the MTV
They were telling the people to rock the what?
Talentless hippies, Hootie wannabees,
Southern fried kings of mediocrity
Now let me get this straight you want MTV viewers,
the worlds biggest losers, to vote?
the idea's wrong in fact there ought to be a law
if you can sit through a Silverchair video
you shouldn't be allowed to vote at all
They call it a revolution, I call it a curse
Tabitha sucks and Kennedy's worse
it's like I got Clockwork Orange things on my eyelids
as I watch the fans of Stone Temple Pilots seize power
A layer of s*** spreads across the land
t's a PSA from the Rollins Band
now the sellout of all time,
who can't sing or write a rhyme
is telling his Genius club they have a voice?
Well the voice of his fans, like those of Blind Melons
should be lumped together w/ convicted felons
Just a segment of society
Not encouraged to engage in public policy
This idea's wrong, in fact there ought to be a law
Anyone who bought the last Hole record
should be thoroughly deprogrammed for the safety of us all
This idea's wrong don't choose your masters

I Believe

I believe the children are the future,
teach them well and let them know
things may be all s*** right now,
but it gets worse when your old
Happy meals and Easter bunny,
great moments indeed
Enjoy it now while you still can
cuz I believe
I believe in miracles
and dreams can come true
especially the ones
where your teeth fall out
or you're naked at school
even sleeping brings us pain
we never get no relief
But that's how it's meant to be that's what I believe
What ever happen to trust?
come on people It's what we need
Stop confusing the issues with facts
Cuz me for one, I still believe
I believe in the written word
if it's on paper it's true
it's all gospel as far as I'm concerned
if somebody wrote it
it's good enough for me why be so suspicious of the ones
who tried to keep you informed?
they give you the things you need
that's why I believe